7 Apr

One of the things about being a very small and newly recognized sexuality and gender is that I do not have a lot of media to turn to, informational and otherwise. And when I find good media, I get very emotional and excited.

Before starting this blog and discovering Neutrois Nonsense, the only neutrois stories I had were a few very sad ones from the Experience Project. Before discovering the word neutrois and some information about it, all I had was a vague sense of being unhappy in my body and assuming that the reason I didn’t connect strongly with female characters was because I was asexual. And before I learned that other people used the word asexual, I thought that the descriptor I had come up with for my sexuality was a joke.

So media, especially positive media, is very important for me when it comes to exploring myself and my identity. Even when I was already sure of my identity (I was sure I was asexual, I just also thought I was a freak of nature), having positive media an act as a confirmation, or a sounding board, or just a sign that you’re not alone in the universe. Even if you choose not to interact with anyone (I went maybe 5 years without talking to any other asexual people after a less than a year at AVEN), it can be comforting to know they’re out there.

Pride symbols are great things. I don’t think, before I started exploring my identity more, and more importantly before I started trying to find some kind of community, that I really understood pride symbols. I knew people used them, but I didn’t understand how bolstering they could be, how reassuring.

For various reasons, I do not use AVEN’s flag. I don’t currently have an asexual symbol to identify with. I would really like one someday, but so far I haven’t found one, and haven’t thought of one myself. But I do have a genderqueer symbol to identify with. And before I found any other neutrois media, it was reassuring to have this to lean on, it was safe, it was something I could wrap myself up in, like a blanket.

[Image description: A genderqueer pride flag. It is a flag with five equal-sized horizontal stripes. From top to bottom: purple, blue, yellow, pink, and orange.]

I found it on a Tumblr, and I instantly loved it more than the more common genderqueer flag. I have to admit that my personal aesthetic makes me find the common flag ugly. And I really don’t like being represented by white, the absence of all color. Just because my gender is nonbinary, and doesn’t relate to our only developed concepts of gender, doesn’t mean I don’t have one. But anyway, this is about the flag I do like, not the one I don’t.

A genderqueer pride flag! The purple stands for androgyny, the blue for masculinity, the yellow for genders outside the binary, and the pink for femininity. While orange isn’t technically the opposite of purple on the color wheel, it’s close and yellow has already taken on a meaning of its own, so orange stands for agender identities. :)

GQ Pride, Tumblr

Orange is a pretty close split complement to purple, actually, so I kind of think that’s actually a great way to relate neutrois and agender identities. I also just like having lots of colors. I could make this into a multi-layered cake, with the proper food coloring.

When I graduate and move out to be with Drake (Girlfriend, who now has her own WordPress to discuss philosophy, gender, sexuality, and fashion, among other things), we’ll be living in San Francisco. I have never been particularly motivated to participate in a public Pride event, but there is no way we can live in San Francisco and not go. Even I can’t resist that kind of pull. I saw a shirt a while back I would love to get to represent my aceness, but I’d also love to get my genderqueer flag on a big button or something, maybe with the letters GQ on them to give some indication of what it meant.

I kind of don’t even care that it’s not a common flag and most people won’t recognize it. Most people also haven’t heard of my sexuality and gender in the first place, so it doesn’t really phase me.


8 Responses to “Pride”

  1. maddox April 7, 2011 at 11:05 PM #

    (Ok, first, San Francisco, really? and you didn’t tell me? Oh yeah, flag and identity and stuff)

    It’s funny how I’ve never felt that one symbol represented me, or felt particularly close to a symbol, or even a need for it. I guess the closest is the gay flag, because it’s universal.

    It’s awesome that the genderqueer flag has a space for agender/neutrois. While genderqueer is technically the umbrella term, I don’t identify as such. The label just doesn’t sit well with me – I relate it more to being a blend of genders rather than an absence. Usually I prefer to say transgender or agender or neutrois.

    • ace eccentric April 8, 2011 at 3:44 PM #

      (^_^ I did locate both your e-mails now (I think my response to the latest one went through) and yep! Drake recently decided for sure to go there.)

      It’s interesting, because I didn’t feel a need for a symbol, but when I found this one I liked it so much that I wanted to adopt it.

      I think the great thing is that people can find words and things that suit them, and make their own if they can’t find something they like. It’s always really interesting to me to see what words and symbols people use and don’t use. Like, I’ll use “transgender” as a tag for cataloging/searching purposes, but if I was having a conversation with a new friend and explaining myself, I’d probably never think to use the word.

  2. maddox April 7, 2011 at 11:07 PM #

    And while we’re on the subject of trolling in Girlfriend’s blog, you’re gonna need to buy a shade of lipstick stick for each color. Damn I lost track of which Girlfriend I’m talking to…

    • ace eccentric April 8, 2011 at 3:47 PM #

      That is tempting! I’m weird with makeup. I own a very sparkly nail polish I only wear on my feet, and about four lip glosses I mostly wear around the house. It’s like I need random bouts of shine.

  3. marilynroxie April 8, 2011 at 8:41 PM #

    Hi, this is Marilyn Roxie from GQID, I designed the prototype lavender/green/white flag which really was always a prototype, I never expected it to catch on the way it has. Anyhow, I’ve modified the description of the meaning of the colors, in which lavender = queerness and androgyny, green = non-binary but gendered, white = neutrois, non-gendered. So, non-binary gender identification would fall under green, not white, if a gender identification of some kind was still present. I know my design isn’t perfect and I do want to experiment with different symbols and colors in my own work, at any rate. Cheers. :)

    • ace eccentric April 8, 2011 at 8:50 PM #

      :) Ah, I didn’t know it had been updated. Generally it’s just not my personal aesthetic. But the nice thing about symbols is that everyone gets to choose their own, if they want to use any at all.

  4. Andrea May 29, 2012 at 1:41 AM #

    Thanks for this information! I am starting a new line of pride related jewlery (I knit and crochet things to sell) and I was looking for all the pride colors, and had to look up each sexuality and gender-identity related thing because no one site has them all… Anyways, I agree with you that this flag is way more attractive and I like what each color represents. I identify more as “gender fluid” but the idea is similar. Again, thank you for the information! <3

    • ace eccentric May 29, 2012 at 4:01 PM #

      Thank you! I like this flag a lot more too. It would be great to see some gender-related pride stuff that wasn’t the typical genderqueer flag. I wish you luck with your business!

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